If that was your dad, he is hot
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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