you traded sex for a burrito?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
smell my finger.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
