We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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