Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
