STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
