Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
