it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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