32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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