He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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