i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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