If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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