You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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