so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
