hotel room ftw
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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