I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
