just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
