please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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