i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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