My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
