just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
