Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
