he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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