apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
