No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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