well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
