i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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