I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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