I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
