Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
