how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize