I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
