Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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