i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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