we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize