CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
