I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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