wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
