Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize