they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
