Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
