When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize