Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
