im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
