Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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