gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
