That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize