grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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