I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
