Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
