but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
