I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
