Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
