out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
