Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize