I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
