So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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