My Higher Power is John Stamos
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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