just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they need to just BURY HIM!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
