Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
