in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
