Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
