Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
