Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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