Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
