Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
