We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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